The holiday season is a magical time, but for preteens struggling with anxiety, it can also feel overwhelming. From bustling family gatherings to endless expectations, this time of year can heighten stress and amplify their worries. As a parent, you may wonder how to help your child enjoy the season while keeping their anxiety in check.

Here are five practical tips to help your preteen navigate the holidays with confidence and calm:

1. Set Clear Expectations

The holidays often bring a whirlwind of activities and unfamiliar situations. Help your child feel grounded by clearly outlining what to expect.

Discuss upcoming events, who will be there and what they can look forward to.
If you’re visiting family or friends, let them know how long you’ll stay and what they can do if they start feeling overwhelmed.
Use visuals like a calendar to map out the schedule, giving your preteen a sense of control.

Knowing what’s coming can ease their anxiety and give them space to prepare mentally.

2. Create a Calm-Down Plan

No matter how well-prepared they are, moments of overwhelm may still happen. Equip your preteen with a “calm-down toolkit” they can use whenever stress strikes.

Some ideas include:

Practicing deep breathing exercises (such as inhaling for 4 counts, holding for 4, and exhaling for 4).
Bringing along a fidget tool or comforting item, like a stress ball or favorite book.
Agreeing on a quiet “safe space” they can retreat to, whether it’s a separate room or a cozy corner at a family gathering.

Remind your preteen it’s okay to take breaks whenever they need to.

3. Focus on Their Strengths

Holiday performances, group activities and family traditions often highlight social or academic skills. For an anxious preteen, these moments can trigger feelings of inadequacy. Counter this by emphasizing their strengths:

Celebrate their unique contributions, whether it’s their creativity in decorating cookies or their thoughtfulness in choosing gifts.
Remind them that it’s okay to say “no” to things that feel too much while still enjoying the season in their own way.

When your preteen feels valued for who they are, not what they achieve, it builds their confidence.

4. Practice Mindfulness Together

Mindfulness is a powerful way to manage holiday stress—for both you and your preteen. Take time to slow down and ground yourselves in the present moment.

Try these family-friendly mindfulness activities:

Savoring the moment: Notice the colors, smells, and tastes during a holiday meal or decorating session.
Progressive muscle relaxation: Take turns tensing and relaxing different muscle groups, helping release physical tension.
Gratitude sharing: Each evening, share one thing you’re grateful for about the day.

Even five minutes of mindfulness can create a sense of calm and connection.

5. Check In and Listen

The holiday rush can make it easy to overlook how your child is truly feeling. Take time to check in regularly with open-ended questions, like:

“What’s something you’re looking forward to this week?”
“Is there anything you’re nervous about with the holidays coming up?”
“What’s one thing that would make this easier for you?”

Validate their feelings and show empathy. When your preteen feels heard and understood, they’re more likely to open up and trust your guidance.

Need Extra Support? Let’s Work Together

The holidays can be especially challenging for preteens with anxiety—and for parents who want to help but feel unsure where to start. If your child is struggling with stress, self-doubt or social pressures, I’m here to help.

Together, we can create personalized strategies to help your preteen thrive—not just during the holidays, but all year round. Book a free consult today, and let’s make this season one of growth and joy for your family.

Book your free consultation today.

By implementing these tips, you’ll give your preteen the tools they need to face holiday challenges with confidence—and build memories that truly matter.