Helping Preteens Navigate Friendship Challenges: A Parent’s Guide

Friendships can be the best part of preteen life—and the hardest. Your child comes home hurt because they weren’t invited to a party or feels unsure about how to handle a disagreement. As a parent, it’s tough to watch them struggle, but these challenges are also opportunities for growth.

So how do you guide your preteen through these tricky waters without taking over?

Understanding the Preteen Social World

At this age, friendships start to carry more weight. They’re about more than shared interests—they become central to identity and self-worth. That’s why every conflict feels like the end of the world to your child.

As a parent, your role isn’t to fix the problem but to equip your child with tools to handle it themselves.

Key Conversations to Have with Your Preteen

Instead of jumping in with solutions, start by listening. Ask open-ended questions like, “How did that make you feel?” or “What do you think you’ll do next?” These questions encourage your child to process their emotions and consider their options.

When they’re ready, offer gentle guidance. Share stories of your own childhood friendships—both the good and the challenging. Hearing that you’ve been through similar struggles can be incredibly reassuring.

Finally, remind your preteen that it’s okay to set boundaries. True friends respect each other’s feelings, and it’s okay to step back from friendships that feel one-sided or hurtful.

Want more tools to support your preteen? Download my free guide: How to Help Your Preteen Make Confident Choices and empower your child to navigate these challenges with self-assurance.

Understanding Your Preteen’s Journey of Self-Discovery

Preteens are at one of the most fascinating—and challenging—stages of development. They’re no longer little kids who take the world at face value, but they’re not yet teenagers equipped to fully express who they’re becoming.

This in-between stage is marked by self-discovery—a time of exploring interests, testing boundaries, and figuring out who they are. It’s exciting, messy, and often emotional.

Why Self-Discovery Feels So Tricky

1. Balancing Independence and Connection

Preteens want to assert their independence, but they’re not quite ready to navigate life on their own. This push-and-pull can create tension between wanting your guidance and wanting to do things their way.

2. Insecurity Around Their Identity

They’re beginning to compare themselves to peers and internalize outside opinions. This can lead to self-doubt or fear that who they are isn’t “enough.”

3. Big Emotions, Limited Tools

From excitement to frustration to sadness, preteens are riding an emotional rollercoaster. But because their brains are still developing, they don’t always have the skills to process those feelings in healthy ways.

4. Shifting Interests and Passions

One week, it’s soccer; the next, it’s coding. Preteens are exploring what lights them up—and they may feel overwhelmed by the pressure to choose or stick with something.

How You Can Support Their Journey

• Celebrate Their Individuality

Show interest in their hobbies, even if they seem fleeting. By valuing what excites them, you’re helping them feel seen and validated.

• Foster Open Communication

Make it safe for your preteen to share their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. This builds trust and helps them process their emotions with your support.

• Help Them Reframe Mistakes

Remind them that growth often comes from trying and failing. Mistakes aren’t failures—they’re opportunities to learn and grow.

• Model Self-Discovery

Share your own stories of figuring out who you are—both as a kid and as an adult. Seeing you embrace your journey helps normalize theirs.

Preteens are in a beautiful season of growth, even if it feels chaotic at times. By guiding them with patience and encouragement, you’re giving them the tools to discover and embrace who they truly are.

Want more tools to support your preteen during this stage? Schedule a consult here and let’s explore how to empower them with confidence and resilience.

Helping Your Anxious Preteen Navigate Holiday Stress with Creativity

The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy and connection, but for preteens with anxiety, they can feel overwhelming. From packed schedules to unfamiliar social settings and heightened expectations, the season often amplifies their worries. Your preteen might struggle with a loud inner critic, feelings of self-doubt, or an inability to fully relax and enjoy the season.

As a parent, you want to help your preteen feel safe, understood, and confident during this busy time. One way to achieve this is through creativity. Art therapy offers a unique outlet for anxious preteens to express their thoughts and emotions, quiet their inner critic, and discover tools for resilience.

Here’s a creative activity designed to help your preteen process holiday stress and find calm amid the chaos.

Therapeutic Art Activity: My Holiday Journey Map

Therapeutic Art Activity: My Holiday Journey Map

Why You NEED to try this…

Why This Activity Helps

Anxiety can feel like a tangle of thoughts and emotions, especially during the holidays. The Holiday Journey Map provides preteens with a way to untangle and organize their feelings while visually mapping out the season. This activity encourages mindfulness, self-awareness, and self-expression—all key tools for managing anxiety.

What You’ll Need:

• A large sheet of paper or poster board

• Markers, oil pastels, crayons, or colored pencils

• Magazines for cutting out images (optional)

• Scissors, glue, and stickers

How to Create the Map:

1. Draw the Journey:

Ask your preteen to draw a winding road across the paper, representing their journey through the holiday season. Along the road, they’ll mark stops for key events, like a holiday party, family dinner, family traditions, or even downtime at home.

2. Add Emotion Stops:

At each stop, have them draw a symbol or picture to represent how they feel about that moment. For example:

• A question mark for moments of uncertainty.

• A heart for events they’re excited about.

• A storm cloud for situations that feel overwhelming.

They can use colors to reflect their emotions—blue for calm, red for stress, yellow for happiness.

3. Add Empowerment Imagery:

Encourage them to add to the road with comforting images or words that remind them of their strengths and the support they have. They can include encouraging messages, symbols of resilience, or reminders of things they enjoy about the holidays.

4. Reflect Together:

Once their map is complete, sit down and explore it with them. Use open-ended questions like:

• “What part of this journey feels the hardest for you?”

• “What are you most looking forward to?”

• “How can we make the tough moments feel easier?”

5. Empower with Coping Tools:

Discuss simple coping strategies they can use when anxiety shows up, such as deep breathing, taking a break, or using positive affirmations.

Supporting Your Preteen Through Holiday Stress

The Holiday Journey Map is more than an art project—it’s a tool for emotional empowerment. It helps your preteen process their thoughts and feelings while creating a visual reminder of their ability to face challenges.

This activity also opens the door for meaningful conversations, giving you insight into what they need to feel supported during the season.

If you’re looking for more strategies to help your preteen manage anxiety, build confidence, and quiet their inner critic, explore my Emotionally Empowered Family System or Creatively You Club.

Rooting for you!

Kayla

Building Confidence in Preteens: Small Steps That Make a Big Difference

Preteens face a whirlwind of changes—academically, socially, and emotionally. It’s a time when their self-esteem can take a hit. As a parent, you play a crucial role in helping your child build the confidence they need to navigate this stage with resilience.

The good news? Building confidence doesn’t require grand gestures. It’s about small, consistent actions that send the message: “I believe in you.”

Why Confidence Matters in Preteens

• Confidence shapes how preteens approach challenges.

• It impacts their ability to make friends, handle school pressures, and resist peer influence.

• Low self-esteem often leads to anxiety, self-doubt, or withdrawal from activities they love.

 Small Steps to Build Confidence

1. Celebrate Effort Over Results

Praise the process, not just the outcome. Example: “I saw how hard you worked on that project!”

2. Encourage Decision-Making

Let them make age-appropriate choices, from picking their outfits to planning weekend activities.

3. Model Self-Confidence

Show them how you handle challenges with self-assurance. Share your wins and how you overcame struggles.

4. Foster Their Interests

Whether it’s art, sports, or coding, support activities that spark their passion and skill-building.

5. Help Them Reframe Mistakes

Teach them that mistakes are opportunities to learn. Example: “What can we try differently next time?”

Ready to Empower Your Preteen?

Confidence is a skill that grows with practice—and the right support.

Download your free guide: The Ultimate 5 Step Guide To Help Kids Regulate Emotions + Express Thoughts & Feelings in a Healthy Way. It’s packed with practical tips to support their self-esteem and resilience!

5 Tips to Help Your Anxious Preteen Navigate the Holidays

The holiday season is a magical time, but for preteens struggling with anxiety, it can also feel overwhelming. From bustling family gatherings to endless expectations, this time of year can heighten stress and amplify their worries. As a parent, you may wonder how to help your child enjoy the season while keeping their anxiety in check.  

Here are five practical tips to help your preteen navigate the holidays with confidence and calm:  

1. Set Clear Expectations  

The holidays often bring a whirlwind of activities and unfamiliar situations. Help your child feel grounded by clearly outlining what to expect.  

• Discuss upcoming events, who will be there and what they can look forward to.  

• If you’re visiting family or friends, let them know how long you’ll stay and what they can do if they start feeling overwhelmed.  

• Use visuals like a calendar to map out the schedule, giving your preteen a sense of control.  

Knowing what’s coming can ease their anxiety and give them space to prepare mentally.  

2. Create a Calm-Down Plan

No matter how well-prepared they are, moments of overwhelm may still happen. Equip your preteen with a “calm-down toolkit” they can use whenever stress strikes.  

Some ideas include:  

• Practicing deep breathing exercises (such as inhaling for 4 counts, holding for 4, and exhaling for 4).  

• Bringing along a fidget tool or comforting item, like a stress ball or favorite book.  

• Agreeing on a quiet “safe space” they can retreat to, whether it’s a separate room or a cozy corner at a family gathering.  

Remind your preteen it’s okay to take breaks whenever they need to.  

3. Focus on Their Strengths

Holiday performances, group activities and family traditions often highlight social or academic skills. For an anxious preteen, these moments can trigger feelings of inadequacy. Counter this by emphasizing their strengths:  

• Celebrate their unique contributions, whether it’s their creativity in decorating cookies or their thoughtfulness in choosing gifts.  

• Remind them that it’s okay to say “no” to things that feel too much while still enjoying the season in their own way.  

When your preteen feels valued for who they are, not what they achieve, it builds their confidence.  

4. Practice Mindfulness Together 

Mindfulness is a powerful way to manage holiday stress—for both you and your preteen. Take time to slow down and ground yourselves in the present moment.  

Try these family-friendly mindfulness activities:  

• Savoring the moment: Notice the colors, smells, and tastes during a holiday meal or decorating session.  

• Progressive muscle relaxation: Take turns tensing and relaxing different muscle groups, helping release physical tension.  

• Gratitude sharing: Each evening, share one thing you’re grateful for about the day.  

Even five minutes of mindfulness can create a sense of calm and connection.  

5. Check In and Listen 

The holiday rush can make it easy to overlook how your child is truly feeling. Take time to check in regularly with open-ended questions, like:  

• “What’s something you’re looking forward to this week?”  

• “Is there anything you’re nervous about with the holidays coming up?”  

• “What’s one thing that would make this easier for you?”  

Validate their feelings and show empathy. When your preteen feels heard and understood, they’re more likely to open up and trust your guidance.  

Need Extra Support? Let’s Work Together

The holidays can be especially challenging for preteens with anxiety—and for parents who want to help but feel unsure where to start. If your child is struggling with stress, self-doubt or social pressures, I’m here to help.  

Together, we can create personalized strategies to help your preteen thrive—not just during the holidays, but all year round. Book a free consult today, and let’s make this season one of growth and joy for your family.  

Book your free consultation today.

By implementing these tips, you’ll give your preteen the tools they need to face holiday challenges with confidence—and build memories that truly matter.  

Self-Care Tips for Moms: Prioritize Yourself Without the Guilt

As a mom, you give so much to your family—your time, energy, and love. But when was the last time you gave something to yourself? Self-care often feels like a luxury, especially when you’re juggling a never-ending to-do list. Yet, neglecting your own well-being can leave you feeling depleted, overwhelmed and even resentful.

It’s time to flip the script and prioritize your needs.  

Here are simple, realistic self-care tips designed for busy moms like you:  

1. Shift Your Mindset 

Let’s start here: self-care is not selfish. Think of it as fuel—when you’re running on empty, you can’t show up as your best self for your kids, your partner or even your work. Give yourself permission to take breaks and recharge without guilt.  

2. Embrace Micro-Moments  

You don’t need hours of free time to care for yourself. Instead, focus on micro-moments throughout your day. This could mean:  

• Savoring your morning coffee in silence before the kids wake up.  

• Taking five deep breaths while waiting in the school pick-up line.  

• Listening to your favorite song while cooking dinner.  

These small acts of mindfulness can make a big difference in your overall mood and energy.  

3. Ask for Help  

You don’t have to do it all alone. Whether it’s delegating tasks to your partner, enlisting family for support, or outsourcing where you can, asking for help is a form of self-care. Remember, no one expects you to be superhuman—except maybe yourself.  

4. Set Boundaries  

It’s okay to say “no” to things that drain your energy or don’t align with your priorities. Set boundaries with your time, commitments, and even your kids (yes, they can wait while you finish that shower!).  

5. Reconnect With Your Passions  

Motherhood can make you forget who you are outside of being “mom.” Take time to rediscover hobbies or interests that light you up. Whether it’s painting, gardening, journaling, or trying something new, reconnecting with your passions helps you feel more like you.  

6. Make Time for Movement  

Exercise doesn’t have to mean an intense gym session. Go for a walk, stretch or dance around the living room with your kids. Movement helps reduce stress, boosts your mood and gives you a burst of energy—something every mom could use more of!  

7. Seek Support When You Need It  

Sometimes, self-care means admitting you can’t do it all and seeking guidance. Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, feeling stuck or just need help managing the mental load, reaching out for support is a brave and powerful step.  

You Deserve to Feel Balanced and Whole  

Self-care isn’t just a buzzword—it’s the foundation of your well-being and the key to thriving in motherhood. If you’re ready to take control of your mental health and rediscover a sense of balance, let’s work together.  

Book a consult today and explore how I can help you create a self-care routine that fits your unique needs. Whether it’s through mindfulness strategies or creative techniques like Art Therapy, you’ll walk away feeling more empowered and in control.  

Take that first step toward prioritizing you.  

Book your free 20 minute consult now!

How to Talk to Your Preteen About Emotions: A Parent’s Guide

Talking to your preteen about emotions can feel like walking through a minefield. One minute they’re spilling their hearts out; the next, you’re met with an eye roll and a slammed door. Navigating these moments is tough—but it’s also an opportunity to strengthen your relationship and help your preteen develop emotional resilience.  

If you're unsure where to start, don’t worry—you're not alone. Here are practical, mindful strategies to create open, judgment-free conversations with your preteen about their emotions.  

Why It’s Important to Talk About Emotions  

Preteens are in a unique stage of life where hormones, school stress and peer relationships collide. This emotional rollercoaster can make them feel overwhelmed. By talking openly about emotions, you’re teaching them:  

- Emotional intelligence: Recognizing and naming their feelings.  

- Healthy coping strategies: Managing tough situations with mindfulness instead of avoidance.  

- Resilience: Learning that it’s okay to struggle and how to move through challenges.  

When preteens feel they can express their emotions safely, they’re more likely to make confident, informed choices—whether it’s navigating friendships, standing up for themselves or managing academic pressures.  

5 Tips for Talking to Your Preteen About Emotions  

1. Choose the Right Moment  

Timing is everything. A rushed car ride or heated moment isn’t ideal for deep conversations. Instead, aim for natural, low-pressure opportunities, like during a walk, while cooking together or at bedtime.  

2. Start with Open-Ended Questions  

Avoid yes-or-no questions like “Did you have a good day?” Instead, try:  

- “What was the best part of your day?”  

- “What’s something that made you feel frustrated today?”  

These questions encourage them to share without feeling interrogated.  

3. Validate Their Feelings

Resist the urge to “fix” or downplay their emotions. Saying things like “It’s not that big of a deal” can shut them down. Instead, try:  

• “That sounds really tough. I’m here to listen.”  

• “It makes sense you’d feel that way. How can I support you?”  

Validation shows them their feelings are normal and worthy of attention.  

4. Model Emotional Expression  

Preteens learn by watching you. Share your emotions (in an age-appropriate way) and how you handle them. For example:  

• “I felt really frustrated when I made a mistake at work, but I took a few deep breaths to calm down.”  

This normalizes emotional expression and teaches them healthy coping strategies.  

5. Use Creative Tools to Break the Ice  

Sometimes, talking directly about emotions can feel too intense for preteens. Creative outlets like art, journaling or mindfulness exercises can help them process feelings in a less intimidating way. For example:  

• Draw a "feelings map" together, where they assign colors to different emotions.  

• Practice deep breathing or grounding exercises when emotions feel overwhelming.  

When to Seek Help  

If your preteen consistently shuts down, seems overly anxious or struggles to regulate their emotions, it might be time to seek professional support. A trained licensed therapist can provide tools tailored to their unique needs and help you strengthen your connection as a family.  

Ready to Build Better Conversations with Your Preteen?  

Navigating these emotional waters is challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Together, we can create a plan to help your preteen confidently express their emotions while equipping you with tools to support them.  

Book a free 20 minute consult today and let’s work together to empower your preteen to unlock their greatest potential!  

Talking about emotions with your preteen is a journey, but every step strengthens their confidence and your bond. You’ve got this—and I’m here to help every step of the way.  

Mental Health Support for Moms

What if you could take time for yourself, and you never have to deal with mom guilt?

You wake up everyday and can breathe easily, love yourself, and go after your dreams.

But there’s a slight problem keeping you from getting that.

You are stuck spinning your wheels & pleasing everyone but yourself.

I see you. I know you are trying, however, it’s not quite working as planned.

I’ve been there too. I needed a moment to breathe & gather my thoughts. I realized the NEED to find a way to reduce stress and tend to myself.

The struggle is real for moms who have a hard time reducing stress and discovering who they are in motherhood.

Because of programs that skip steps without understanding what else impacts emotional overwhelm, plans that are too time consuming, and plans that don’t view mental health as a whole body approach.

And when you’re constantly bombarded with these challenges in your life, it’s hard to get your head out of the weeds and realize you’re making the same mistake that’s not helping you.

I get it because I’ve been there too and have helped many others like you. But first you gotta accept that what you’re doing is not working.

So instead of continuing with pushing through and having to live with constant overwhelm, here’s what you can do to finally reduce stress and anxiety.

#1 — focus on inhaling and exhaling slowly. This will bring your focus to your breath & calm your mind. I like to add calming essential oils to this step.

#2 — focus on brain dumping all the thoughts & feelings swirling around in your head onto a piece of paper. This can be through words, shapes, colors or lines. This will allow you to hone in on what you can control & what you cannot.

#3 — focus on moving your body. A simple stretch or gentle walk is a great place to start. This will help your body to release stress & increase all your feel good hormones.

Even if you can consistently do one of these, you’ll finally start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. And you’ll experience stress relief without feeling guilt and shame for talking time for yourself.

Ready to make your mental health a priority?

Book a consult now and let’s begin!