From Overwhelm to Clarity: Finding Yourself in the Chaos of Motherhood

Every mom’s been there—overwhelmed by the mess, the noise, the never-ending list of tasks. In the chaos of motherhood, it’s easy to forget who you are outside of the “mom” role. Or even find the time to pause for yourself.

But what if you could find clarity in the chaos? What if, amidst the busyness, you could uncover your true desires and align with your deeper purpose?

Here’s how to stop drowning in overwhelm and rediscover your clarity, one small step at a time.

Why Clarity Is the Key to Balance

When your life feels like a whirlwind, clarity is your anchor. It’s easy to get caught up in the next task, but clarity helps you recognize what’s truly important.

When you take the time to step back and re-evaluate what’s most important to you—what you want to experience and who you want to be—you make space for balance, not burnout.

Tools to Find Clarity in Your Busy Life

1. Mindfulness Breathing:

Take a few minutes each day to focus on your breath. Inhale deeply for 4 counts, hold for 4 and exhale for 4. This will help you center yourself and quiet the noise around you.

2. Weekly Reflection:

Set aside time every week to reflect on what went well and what could be improved. Write down your thoughts in a journal or on your phone. This process brings clarity on what matters and what you want to let go of.

3. Create a Non-Negotiable Routine:

Schedule at least 10 minutes each morning to do something that clears your mind—whether it’s meditation, art making, journaling or a walk outside. Prioritize this routine to help gain perspective before your day starts.

4. Prioritize Your Energy:

Keep a weekly log of how different activities make you feel. Focus on the things that give you energy and bring you joy. Reassess your commitments and start letting go of those that drain you.

Let’s take some action.

Tonight, write down three things you’ve been putting off or feeling overwhelmed by. Choose one small action for each that you can take tomorrow—no matter how small—to make a shift.

Finding clarity doesn’t mean doing everything right—it means choosing the things that bring you peace and allow you to feel centered. By focusing on what aligns with your true needs, you’ll break free from overwhelm and step into your boldest version of motherhood.

Ready for more support to take actions and gain clarity? Book a consult and let’s begin.

Redefining Motherhood: How to Dream Big Without the Guilt

It starts as a quiet whisper—a dream you’ve kept tucked away. Maybe it’s a career goal, a creative passion, or the simple desire to carve out time for yourself. But every time the whisper gets louder, guilt sneaks in:

“Shouldn’t I be focusing on my kids?”

“What kind of mom puts herself first?”

Here’s the truth: pursuing your dreams doesn’t make you less of a mom. It makes you more—more vibrant, more fulfilled, and more present for your family. Motherhood and your dreams don’t have to compete. This is your invitation to stop shrinking and start creating a version of motherhood that’s unapologetically yours.

Why Guilt Isn’t Your Compass

Guilt often feels like a sign you’re doing something wrong, but it’s not always the truth-teller we think it is.

The reality? Much of the guilt moms feel comes from societal expectations—this unspoken rule that “good moms” sacrifice everything for their families. But you can’t pour from an empty cup, and ignoring your own dreams doesn’t serve anyone.

What if your kids saw you chasing a goal with determination? What if they watched you honor your passions while still showing up for them? Letting go of guilt isn’t selfish—it’s necessary for your growth and theirs.

How Pursuing Your Dreams Benefits Your Kids

When you chase your dreams, you’re not taking something away from your family. You’re modeling resilience, confidence, and creativity—all values you’d want your kids to embody.

Here’s why pursuing your dreams is a gift to your children:

• You Teach Them to Value Themselves. When they see you prioritize your needs, they learn to prioritize their own.

• You Show Them Courage. They’ll watch you take risks and recover from setbacks, learning how to do the same.

• You Bring More Joy Into the Home. A fulfilled mom radiates happiness, which ripples into the entire family.

Your dreams aren’t a distraction from motherhood—they’re a powerful tool to inspire your family.

Practical Tools to Move Forward

Ready to take action? Here are some tools and tips to help you start dreaming big without the guilt:

1. Morning Pages

Spend 10 minutes each morning writing down your thoughts. Let it be unfiltered and messy—it’s not about perfection. This practice helps you uncover what’s weighing on your heart and reveals the dreams you’ve been pushing aside.

2. Create a “Dream Jar”

Grab a jar and small slips of paper. Write down every idea, no matter how big or small, and toss it in. When you’re feeling stuck, pull out a slip and take one small step toward making that dream a reality.

3. Use Art for Visioning

Draw, paint, or collage what your ideal life looks like. What would your days feel like? How would you show up? This process isn’t about creating perfect art—it’s about reconnecting with your vision and desires.

4. Set Boundaries Without Apology

Start saying “no” to things that drain you and “yes” to things that fuel your dreams. Need help saying no? Practice phrases like:

• “I can’t commit to that right now, but thank you for thinking of me.”

• “I’m focusing on other priorities at the moment.”

5. Book “You” Time

Block out non-negotiable time on your calendar for personal growth, creativity, or just rest. Treat it like any other important appointment.

6. Celebrate Small Wins

Every step counts. Did you spend five minutes journaling? Talk to your partner about your goals? That’s progress. Celebrate it.

Action Step: Start Today

Here’s one thing you can do right now: grab a piece of paper and write down one dream you’ve been putting off. Then, list one tiny step you can take toward it this week. Keep it simple but intentional.

For example:

• Dream: Start a business.

• Tiny Step: Research one resource online about starting a side hustle.

No step is too small. Every action builds momentum.

Motherhood doesn’t mean sidelining your dreams. It’s your chance to show your family—and yourself—what’s possible when you embrace courage and let go of guilt.

What bold move will you take today? Remember, you’re not just creating a life for your family—you’re creating one for yourself, too.

Want support for your next bold mom move? Book a consult today and let’s do it together.

Why Your Preteen’s Confidence Feels Fragile—and How to Strengthen It

Do you ever look at your daughter and think, “She’s amazing—why can’t she see it?” You’re not alone. So many moms tell me their preteens are struggling with self-doubt, but they don’t know how to help.

Between school stress, social pressures, and constant comparison on social media, it’s no wonder our girls feel unsure of themselves. But here’s the thing: confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s a skill—one that can be built and nurtured.

This is where creativity comes in. When your daughter engages in creative projects, she’s not just making something beautiful—she’s learning to trust herself. She’s seeing her ideas come to life, realizing her voice matters, and practicing the resilience to keep going when things don’t turn out perfectly.

In the Creatively You Club, I’ve taken these ideas and built an experience where your daughter can thrive. It’s not just about art—it’s about giving her tools to navigate life with confidence and self-assurance.

Want to learn more about how creativity builds confidence? Check out the Creatively You Club.

Helping Preteens Navigate Friendship Challenges: A Parent’s Guide

Friendships can be the best part of preteen life—and the hardest. Your child comes home hurt because they weren’t invited to a party or feels unsure about how to handle a disagreement. As a parent, it’s tough to watch them struggle, but these challenges are also opportunities for growth.

So how do you guide your preteen through these tricky waters without taking over?

Understanding the Preteen Social World

At this age, friendships start to carry more weight. They’re about more than shared interests—they become central to identity and self-worth. That’s why every conflict feels like the end of the world to your child.

As a parent, your role isn’t to fix the problem but to equip your child with tools to handle it themselves.

Key Conversations to Have with Your Preteen

Instead of jumping in with solutions, start by listening. Ask open-ended questions like, “How did that make you feel?” or “What do you think you’ll do next?” These questions encourage your child to process their emotions and consider their options.

When they’re ready, offer gentle guidance. Share stories of your own childhood friendships—both the good and the challenging. Hearing that you’ve been through similar struggles can be incredibly reassuring.

Finally, remind your preteen that it’s okay to set boundaries. True friends respect each other’s feelings, and it’s okay to step back from friendships that feel one-sided or hurtful.

Want more tools to support your preteen? Download my free guide: How to Help Your Preteen Make Confident Choices and empower your child to navigate these challenges with self-assurance.

Letting Go of Mom Guilt: Redefining What It Means to Be Enough

If you’re like most moms, you’ve probably felt it: that gnawing guilt over what you didn’t do. Maybe you forgot to sign up for the class party or you’re still thinking about how you snapped at your child after a long day.

Here’s the truth: mom guilt doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It means you care. But caring shouldn’t come at the expense of your own well-being.

What Are You Measuring Yourself Against?

So much of mom guilt comes from invisible expectations—ones you didn’t create but feel like you have to meet. The perfect meals. The perfectly behaved kids. The perfectly clean house.

What if you could release those expectations? Being a great mom isn’t about checking every box. It’s about being present for the moments that matter and giving yourself grace when things don’t go as planned.

Redefining Enough

You get to decide what being “enough” looks like. Maybe it’s sharing a laugh with your child during a messy dinner. Maybe it’s modeling self-care by prioritizing rest when you need it.

When you redefine enough, you create space to show up as the mom—and the person—you want to be.

Want to dive deeper into redefining motherhood on your terms? Schedule a free consult and we’ll explore how to create clarity and confidence as both a mom and a person with dreams of your own.

The Gift You Deserve This Holiday Season: Permission to Say No

The holidays are here—cue the whirlwind of gift lists, cookie swaps, classroom parties, and family traditions. While it’s magical in many ways, let’s be honest: it can also feel overwhelming.

Here’s the thing: being everything to everyone isn’t what makes the season special. In fact, it might be stealing the joy you’re hoping to create.

What if this year, the best gift you gave yourself was permission to say no?

The Power of a Graceful No

Saying no doesn’t mean you’re letting anyone down. It means you’re prioritizing what matters most. Maybe you skip the 12-hour road trip to a relative’s house or pass on hosting the cookie exchange. These choices can create space for what truly lights you up—whether that’s decorating with your kids, watching cheesy holiday movies, or simply catching your breath.

Permission to Redefine Traditions

Holidays don’t have to look the way they always have. You get to decide what feels meaningful for you and your family. When you let go of the “shoulds,” you might discover traditions that bring genuine connection, rather than stress.

This season isn’t about perfection—it’s about being present.

Ready to start setting boundaries and making choices that feel right for you? Schedule a consult to get started.

Breaking Free from “Perfect Mom” Expectations: Redefining Your Motherhood Journey

You had dreams for motherhood—maybe ones you couldn’t fully articulate but felt deeply in your heart. Then life happened. Somewhere between the pressure to be the perfect mom, partner, and professional, you might have found yourself asking: “Is this how it’s supposed to feel?”

The truth is, there’s no one way to be a mom, and societal expectations often set us up to feel like we’re falling short. But what if motherhood could look exactly the way you want it to?

Let’s explore what it means to break free of those expectations and build a life where you can thrive as both a mother and a person with dreams, passions, and purpose.

The Weight of “Perfect Mom” Pressure

From the outside, it looks like everyone else has it all figured out. Social media shows us immaculate homes, hand-packed lunches, and smiling kids. But behind the scenes, many moms are exhausted from trying to meet standards they never agreed to.

It’s time to rewrite the script. Perfection isn’t the goal—connection, joy, and authenticity are.

Getting Clear on What You Truly Want

What does an amazing motherhood experience look like for you?

Maybe it’s about being present with your kids without sacrificing your own passions. Perhaps it’s pursuing a bold new beginning—a career change, a creative outlet, or even simply prioritizing time for yourself. Whatever it is, the first step is giving yourself permission to want it.

Pause and Reflect:

Take a quiet moment to ask yourself:

• What am I doing because I feel like I should?

• What lights me up and makes me feel like myself?

• What kind of relationship do I want to model for my kids—both with them and with myself?

Making Bold Choices for You and Your Family

Once you’ve uncovered what you truly want, the next step is action. Bold doesn’t have to mean big—it can be as simple as saying no to an obligation that drains you or carving out 15 minutes a day for something that makes you happy.

Every small choice you make to align your life with your vision strengthens your confidence and shows your children what it means to live authentically.

This journey doesn’t have to be lonely. If you’re ready to create a motherhood experience that feels like you, let’s explore it together. Stay tuned for an exciting opportunity to join a community of like-minded moms seeking clarity, confidence, and connection.

If you are seeking 1:1 support in this journey, book a consult today and let’s get started.

Understanding Your Preteen’s Journey of Self-Discovery

Preteens are at one of the most fascinating—and challenging—stages of development. They’re no longer little kids who take the world at face value, but they’re not yet teenagers equipped to fully express who they’re becoming.

This in-between stage is marked by self-discovery—a time of exploring interests, testing boundaries, and figuring out who they are. It’s exciting, messy, and often emotional.

Why Self-Discovery Feels So Tricky

1. Balancing Independence and Connection

Preteens want to assert their independence, but they’re not quite ready to navigate life on their own. This push-and-pull can create tension between wanting your guidance and wanting to do things their way.

2. Insecurity Around Their Identity

They’re beginning to compare themselves to peers and internalize outside opinions. This can lead to self-doubt or fear that who they are isn’t “enough.”

3. Big Emotions, Limited Tools

From excitement to frustration to sadness, preteens are riding an emotional rollercoaster. But because their brains are still developing, they don’t always have the skills to process those feelings in healthy ways.

4. Shifting Interests and Passions

One week, it’s soccer; the next, it’s coding. Preteens are exploring what lights them up—and they may feel overwhelmed by the pressure to choose or stick with something.

How You Can Support Their Journey

• Celebrate Their Individuality

Show interest in their hobbies, even if they seem fleeting. By valuing what excites them, you’re helping them feel seen and validated.

• Foster Open Communication

Make it safe for your preteen to share their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. This builds trust and helps them process their emotions with your support.

• Help Them Reframe Mistakes

Remind them that growth often comes from trying and failing. Mistakes aren’t failures—they’re opportunities to learn and grow.

• Model Self-Discovery

Share your own stories of figuring out who you are—both as a kid and as an adult. Seeing you embrace your journey helps normalize theirs.

Preteens are in a beautiful season of growth, even if it feels chaotic at times. By guiding them with patience and encouragement, you’re giving them the tools to discover and embrace who they truly are.

Want more tools to support your preteen during this stage? Schedule a consult here and let’s explore how to empower them with confidence and resilience.

Why the Holidays Feel Stressful for Preteens (and How You Can Help)

The holidays are supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, right? But for preteens, the season can bring more than just festive cheer—it can stir up stress, insecurity, and anxiety.

From navigating family gatherings to fielding well-meaning but awkward questions from relatives, preteens often feel like they’re under a magnifying glass. And during a stage when they’re still figuring out who they are, it can be a lot to handle.

Why the Holidays Can Be Hard for Preteens

1. Feeling Judged or Scrutinized

Whether it’s a relative commenting on how much they’ve grown or asking about their interests, preteens may feel like they’re being evaluated. Questions that seem harmless to adults can trigger self-doubt or make them question whether they measure up.

2. Big Emotions Without the Tools to Process Them

The holidays come with a swirl of emotions—excitement, nervousness, even sadness. Preteens are still developing the emotional tools to navigate these feelings, which can sometimes come out as withdrawal, irritability, or even outbursts.

3. Uncertainty About Their Identity

Preteens are in the middle of a big journey of self-discovery. Seeing family members who haven’t been part of their day-to-day life can feel like a spotlight is shining on their growth, making them second-guess who they’re becoming.

How You Can Help as a Parent

• Prep Them for What to Expect

Talk to your preteen before family gatherings. Let them know who will be there, what kinds of questions they might hear, and that it’s okay to feel nervous.

• Practice Responses Together

Role-playing common questions like “What grade are you in now?” or “What do you want to be when you grow up?” can help them feel more prepared and less caught off guard.

• Give Them Space to Recharge

Family gatherings can be draining. Offer your preteen the chance to step away if they’re feeling overwhelmed. A quiet room or a quick walk can do wonders for their emotional reset.

• Model Confidence and Empathy

When you respond to your own stress with calm and grace, you’re showing them how to navigate tricky situations. Remind them that they’re not alone in feeling this way—most adults find these moments tough too!

The holidays don’t have to be perfect for them to be meaningful. By creating a safe space for your preteen to express their feelings and encouraging their growth, you’re helping them build confidence that lasts far beyond the holiday season.

Ready to help your preteen thrive this holiday season? Schedule a free consult here for personalized strategies that work for your family.

Helping Your Anxious Preteen Navigate Holiday Stress with Creativity

The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy and connection, but for preteens with anxiety, they can feel overwhelming. From packed schedules to unfamiliar social settings and heightened expectations, the season often amplifies their worries. Your preteen might struggle with a loud inner critic, feelings of self-doubt, or an inability to fully relax and enjoy the season.

As a parent, you want to help your preteen feel safe, understood, and confident during this busy time. One way to achieve this is through creativity. Art therapy offers a unique outlet for anxious preteens to express their thoughts and emotions, quiet their inner critic, and discover tools for resilience.

Here’s a creative activity designed to help your preteen process holiday stress and find calm amid the chaos.

Therapeutic Art Activity: My Holiday Journey Map

Therapeutic Art Activity: My Holiday Journey Map

Why You NEED to try this…

Why This Activity Helps

Anxiety can feel like a tangle of thoughts and emotions, especially during the holidays. The Holiday Journey Map provides preteens with a way to untangle and organize their feelings while visually mapping out the season. This activity encourages mindfulness, self-awareness, and self-expression—all key tools for managing anxiety.

What You’ll Need:

• A large sheet of paper or poster board

• Markers, oil pastels, crayons, or colored pencils

• Magazines for cutting out images (optional)

• Scissors, glue, and stickers

How to Create the Map:

1. Draw the Journey:

Ask your preteen to draw a winding road across the paper, representing their journey through the holiday season. Along the road, they’ll mark stops for key events, like a holiday party, family dinner, family traditions, or even downtime at home.

2. Add Emotion Stops:

At each stop, have them draw a symbol or picture to represent how they feel about that moment. For example:

• A question mark for moments of uncertainty.

• A heart for events they’re excited about.

• A storm cloud for situations that feel overwhelming.

They can use colors to reflect their emotions—blue for calm, red for stress, yellow for happiness.

3. Add Empowerment Imagery:

Encourage them to add to the road with comforting images or words that remind them of their strengths and the support they have. They can include encouraging messages, symbols of resilience, or reminders of things they enjoy about the holidays.

4. Reflect Together:

Once their map is complete, sit down and explore it with them. Use open-ended questions like:

• “What part of this journey feels the hardest for you?”

• “What are you most looking forward to?”

• “How can we make the tough moments feel easier?”

5. Empower with Coping Tools:

Discuss simple coping strategies they can use when anxiety shows up, such as deep breathing, taking a break, or using positive affirmations.

Supporting Your Preteen Through Holiday Stress

The Holiday Journey Map is more than an art project—it’s a tool for emotional empowerment. It helps your preteen process their thoughts and feelings while creating a visual reminder of their ability to face challenges.

This activity also opens the door for meaningful conversations, giving you insight into what they need to feel supported during the season.

If you’re looking for more strategies to help your preteen manage anxiety, build confidence, and quiet their inner critic, explore my Emotionally Empowered Family System or Creatively You Club.

Rooting for you!

Kayla

From Burnout to Balance: A Mom’s Guide to Restoring Energy

You wake up feeling just as tired as when you went to bed. The day stretches ahead, filled with tasks, obligations, and expectations. Somewhere along the way, your energy disappeared—and now you’re running on fumes.

If this feels familiar, you’re not alone. Burnout doesn’t happen overnight, and it can sneak up on the most capable moms. But here’s the good news: just as it builds gradually, burnout can also be unraveled with small, intentional steps. Let’s explore how you can shift from burnout to balance.

Recognizing the Signs of Burnout

Burnout often looks like this:

• Everything feels overwhelming, even small tasks.

• You’re irritable or emotionally drained.

• Self-care feels impossible, and your patience is thin.

The hardest part? You might have convinced yourself this is just how life is now. But it doesn’t have to be.

How to Begin Restoring Your Energy

Start by giving yourself permission to pause. It’s not selfish—it’s survival. Instead of tackling everything at once, choose one small thing you can change today. Maybe that’s drinking your morning coffee without distractions or saying no to an extra obligation.

Next, reconnect with what brings you joy. When was the last time you did something just because it made you happy? Whether it’s a walk outside, a creative project or even ten quiet minutes to yourself to enjoy your coffee, joy is the antidote to exhaustion.

Finally, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Burnout thrives in isolation, but sharing the load—even in small ways—can make a huge difference.

If this resonates with you, stay tuned—I’ll be sharing a new resource soon to help you find balance and restore your energy.

Ready for help now? Schedule a free consultation today to take the first step.

Building Confidence in Preteens: Small Steps That Make a Big Difference

Preteens face a whirlwind of changes—academically, socially, and emotionally. It’s a time when their self-esteem can take a hit. As a parent, you play a crucial role in helping your child build the confidence they need to navigate this stage with resilience.

The good news? Building confidence doesn’t require grand gestures. It’s about small, consistent actions that send the message: “I believe in you.”

Why Confidence Matters in Preteens

• Confidence shapes how preteens approach challenges.

• It impacts their ability to make friends, handle school pressures, and resist peer influence.

• Low self-esteem often leads to anxiety, self-doubt, or withdrawal from activities they love.

 Small Steps to Build Confidence

1. Celebrate Effort Over Results

Praise the process, not just the outcome. Example: “I saw how hard you worked on that project!”

2. Encourage Decision-Making

Let them make age-appropriate choices, from picking their outfits to planning weekend activities.

3. Model Self-Confidence

Show them how you handle challenges with self-assurance. Share your wins and how you overcame struggles.

4. Foster Their Interests

Whether it’s art, sports, or coding, support activities that spark their passion and skill-building.

5. Help Them Reframe Mistakes

Teach them that mistakes are opportunities to learn. Example: “What can we try differently next time?”

Ready to Empower Your Preteen?

Confidence is a skill that grows with practice—and the right support.

Download your free guide: The Ultimate 5 Step Guide To Help Kids Regulate Emotions + Express Thoughts & Feelings in a Healthy Way. It’s packed with practical tips to support their self-esteem and resilience!

How to Stop the Spiral: Mindful Tools for Moms Managing Holiday Stress

The holidays are supposed to be a magical time, but let’s be honest—they often feel overwhelming. Between the endless to-do lists, social obligations, and the pressure to create picture-perfect memories, stress can quickly spiral out of control. Sound familiar? You’re not alone.

But here’s the good news: with a few mindful techniques, you can step off the stress spiral and embrace the holidays with more calm and joy. Let’s dive in.

Why the Holidays Feel So Overwhelming

• Unrealistic expectations: Pinterest-worthy decor, perfect gifts, and hosting like a pro.

• Emotional triggers: Family dynamics, financial strain, and personal pressures.

• Time crunch: Balancing work, parenting, and holiday prep feels impossible.

Understanding what fuels your stress is the first step to managing it.

Mindful Tools to Break the Stress Cycle

1. Name and Normalize Your Feelings

• Acknowledge how you’re feeling without judgment.

• Example: “I’m feeling overwhelmed, and that’s okay.”

2. Breathe with Intention

• Try a simple 4-4-4 breathing technique: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds.

• Breathing activates your parasympathetic nervous system, helping you feel calmer.

3. Set Micro-Goals

• Instead of tackling the entire to-do list, choose 1–2 priorities per day.

• Celebrate small wins to build momentum.

4. Create a Self-Care Ritual

• Whether it’s a morning cup of tea or five minutes of quiet reflection, carve out time just for you.

5. Practice Gratitude

• End your day by listing 3 things you’re grateful for, big or small.

Support is Key

Sometimes, stress requires more than mindfulness tools. If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or emotionally drained, support is available.

Let’s create a plan to help you feel more grounded this holiday season. Book a 1:1 therapy consultation today.

https://kaylahelenske.com/contact

5 Tips to Help Your Anxious Preteen Navigate the Holidays

The holiday season is a magical time, but for preteens struggling with anxiety, it can also feel overwhelming. From bustling family gatherings to endless expectations, this time of year can heighten stress and amplify their worries. As a parent, you may wonder how to help your child enjoy the season while keeping their anxiety in check.  

Here are five practical tips to help your preteen navigate the holidays with confidence and calm:  

1. Set Clear Expectations  

The holidays often bring a whirlwind of activities and unfamiliar situations. Help your child feel grounded by clearly outlining what to expect.  

• Discuss upcoming events, who will be there and what they can look forward to.  

• If you’re visiting family or friends, let them know how long you’ll stay and what they can do if they start feeling overwhelmed.  

• Use visuals like a calendar to map out the schedule, giving your preteen a sense of control.  

Knowing what’s coming can ease their anxiety and give them space to prepare mentally.  

2. Create a Calm-Down Plan

No matter how well-prepared they are, moments of overwhelm may still happen. Equip your preteen with a “calm-down toolkit” they can use whenever stress strikes.  

Some ideas include:  

• Practicing deep breathing exercises (such as inhaling for 4 counts, holding for 4, and exhaling for 4).  

• Bringing along a fidget tool or comforting item, like a stress ball or favorite book.  

• Agreeing on a quiet “safe space” they can retreat to, whether it’s a separate room or a cozy corner at a family gathering.  

Remind your preteen it’s okay to take breaks whenever they need to.  

3. Focus on Their Strengths

Holiday performances, group activities and family traditions often highlight social or academic skills. For an anxious preteen, these moments can trigger feelings of inadequacy. Counter this by emphasizing their strengths:  

• Celebrate their unique contributions, whether it’s their creativity in decorating cookies or their thoughtfulness in choosing gifts.  

• Remind them that it’s okay to say “no” to things that feel too much while still enjoying the season in their own way.  

When your preteen feels valued for who they are, not what they achieve, it builds their confidence.  

4. Practice Mindfulness Together 

Mindfulness is a powerful way to manage holiday stress—for both you and your preteen. Take time to slow down and ground yourselves in the present moment.  

Try these family-friendly mindfulness activities:  

• Savoring the moment: Notice the colors, smells, and tastes during a holiday meal or decorating session.  

• Progressive muscle relaxation: Take turns tensing and relaxing different muscle groups, helping release physical tension.  

• Gratitude sharing: Each evening, share one thing you’re grateful for about the day.  

Even five minutes of mindfulness can create a sense of calm and connection.  

5. Check In and Listen 

The holiday rush can make it easy to overlook how your child is truly feeling. Take time to check in regularly with open-ended questions, like:  

• “What’s something you’re looking forward to this week?”  

• “Is there anything you’re nervous about with the holidays coming up?”  

• “What’s one thing that would make this easier for you?”  

Validate their feelings and show empathy. When your preteen feels heard and understood, they’re more likely to open up and trust your guidance.  

Need Extra Support? Let’s Work Together

The holidays can be especially challenging for preteens with anxiety—and for parents who want to help but feel unsure where to start. If your child is struggling with stress, self-doubt or social pressures, I’m here to help.  

Together, we can create personalized strategies to help your preteen thrive—not just during the holidays, but all year round. Book a free consult today, and let’s make this season one of growth and joy for your family.  

Book your free consultation today.

By implementing these tips, you’ll give your preteen the tools they need to face holiday challenges with confidence—and build memories that truly matter.  

Self-Care Tips for Moms: Prioritize Yourself Without the Guilt

As a mom, you give so much to your family—your time, energy, and love. But when was the last time you gave something to yourself? Self-care often feels like a luxury, especially when you’re juggling a never-ending to-do list. Yet, neglecting your own well-being can leave you feeling depleted, overwhelmed and even resentful.

It’s time to flip the script and prioritize your needs.  

Here are simple, realistic self-care tips designed for busy moms like you:  

1. Shift Your Mindset 

Let’s start here: self-care is not selfish. Think of it as fuel—when you’re running on empty, you can’t show up as your best self for your kids, your partner or even your work. Give yourself permission to take breaks and recharge without guilt.  

2. Embrace Micro-Moments  

You don’t need hours of free time to care for yourself. Instead, focus on micro-moments throughout your day. This could mean:  

• Savoring your morning coffee in silence before the kids wake up.  

• Taking five deep breaths while waiting in the school pick-up line.  

• Listening to your favorite song while cooking dinner.  

These small acts of mindfulness can make a big difference in your overall mood and energy.  

3. Ask for Help  

You don’t have to do it all alone. Whether it’s delegating tasks to your partner, enlisting family for support, or outsourcing where you can, asking for help is a form of self-care. Remember, no one expects you to be superhuman—except maybe yourself.  

4. Set Boundaries  

It’s okay to say “no” to things that drain your energy or don’t align with your priorities. Set boundaries with your time, commitments, and even your kids (yes, they can wait while you finish that shower!).  

5. Reconnect With Your Passions  

Motherhood can make you forget who you are outside of being “mom.” Take time to rediscover hobbies or interests that light you up. Whether it’s painting, gardening, journaling, or trying something new, reconnecting with your passions helps you feel more like you.  

6. Make Time for Movement  

Exercise doesn’t have to mean an intense gym session. Go for a walk, stretch or dance around the living room with your kids. Movement helps reduce stress, boosts your mood and gives you a burst of energy—something every mom could use more of!  

7. Seek Support When You Need It  

Sometimes, self-care means admitting you can’t do it all and seeking guidance. Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, feeling stuck or just need help managing the mental load, reaching out for support is a brave and powerful step.  

You Deserve to Feel Balanced and Whole  

Self-care isn’t just a buzzword—it’s the foundation of your well-being and the key to thriving in motherhood. If you’re ready to take control of your mental health and rediscover a sense of balance, let’s work together.  

Book a consult today and explore how I can help you create a self-care routine that fits your unique needs. Whether it’s through mindfulness strategies or creative techniques like Art Therapy, you’ll walk away feeling more empowered and in control.  

Take that first step toward prioritizing you.  

Book your free 20 minute consult now!

How to Talk to Your Preteen About Emotions: A Parent’s Guide

Talking to your preteen about emotions can feel like walking through a minefield. One minute they’re spilling their hearts out; the next, you’re met with an eye roll and a slammed door. Navigating these moments is tough—but it’s also an opportunity to strengthen your relationship and help your preteen develop emotional resilience.  

If you're unsure where to start, don’t worry—you're not alone. Here are practical, mindful strategies to create open, judgment-free conversations with your preteen about their emotions.  

Why It’s Important to Talk About Emotions  

Preteens are in a unique stage of life where hormones, school stress and peer relationships collide. This emotional rollercoaster can make them feel overwhelmed. By talking openly about emotions, you’re teaching them:  

- Emotional intelligence: Recognizing and naming their feelings.  

- Healthy coping strategies: Managing tough situations with mindfulness instead of avoidance.  

- Resilience: Learning that it’s okay to struggle and how to move through challenges.  

When preteens feel they can express their emotions safely, they’re more likely to make confident, informed choices—whether it’s navigating friendships, standing up for themselves or managing academic pressures.  

5 Tips for Talking to Your Preteen About Emotions  

1. Choose the Right Moment  

Timing is everything. A rushed car ride or heated moment isn’t ideal for deep conversations. Instead, aim for natural, low-pressure opportunities, like during a walk, while cooking together or at bedtime.  

2. Start with Open-Ended Questions  

Avoid yes-or-no questions like “Did you have a good day?” Instead, try:  

- “What was the best part of your day?”  

- “What’s something that made you feel frustrated today?”  

These questions encourage them to share without feeling interrogated.  

3. Validate Their Feelings

Resist the urge to “fix” or downplay their emotions. Saying things like “It’s not that big of a deal” can shut them down. Instead, try:  

• “That sounds really tough. I’m here to listen.”  

• “It makes sense you’d feel that way. How can I support you?”  

Validation shows them their feelings are normal and worthy of attention.  

4. Model Emotional Expression  

Preteens learn by watching you. Share your emotions (in an age-appropriate way) and how you handle them. For example:  

• “I felt really frustrated when I made a mistake at work, but I took a few deep breaths to calm down.”  

This normalizes emotional expression and teaches them healthy coping strategies.  

5. Use Creative Tools to Break the Ice  

Sometimes, talking directly about emotions can feel too intense for preteens. Creative outlets like art, journaling or mindfulness exercises can help them process feelings in a less intimidating way. For example:  

• Draw a "feelings map" together, where they assign colors to different emotions.  

• Practice deep breathing or grounding exercises when emotions feel overwhelming.  

When to Seek Help  

If your preteen consistently shuts down, seems overly anxious or struggles to regulate their emotions, it might be time to seek professional support. A trained licensed therapist can provide tools tailored to their unique needs and help you strengthen your connection as a family.  

Ready to Build Better Conversations with Your Preteen?  

Navigating these emotional waters is challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Together, we can create a plan to help your preteen confidently express their emotions while equipping you with tools to support them.  

Book a free 20 minute consult today and let’s work together to empower your preteen to unlock their greatest potential!  

Talking about emotions with your preteen is a journey, but every step strengthens their confidence and your bond. You’ve got this—and I’m here to help every step of the way.  

Mental Health Support for Moms

What if you could take time for yourself, and you never have to deal with mom guilt?

You wake up everyday and can breathe easily, love yourself, and go after your dreams.

But there’s a slight problem keeping you from getting that.

You are stuck spinning your wheels & pleasing everyone but yourself.

I see you. I know you are trying, however, it’s not quite working as planned.

I’ve been there too. I needed a moment to breathe & gather my thoughts. I realized the NEED to find a way to reduce stress and tend to myself.

The struggle is real for moms who have a hard time reducing stress and discovering who they are in motherhood.

Because of programs that skip steps without understanding what else impacts emotional overwhelm, plans that are too time consuming, and plans that don’t view mental health as a whole body approach.

And when you’re constantly bombarded with these challenges in your life, it’s hard to get your head out of the weeds and realize you’re making the same mistake that’s not helping you.

I get it because I’ve been there too and have helped many others like you. But first you gotta accept that what you’re doing is not working.

So instead of continuing with pushing through and having to live with constant overwhelm, here’s what you can do to finally reduce stress and anxiety.

#1 — focus on inhaling and exhaling slowly. This will bring your focus to your breath & calm your mind. I like to add calming essential oils to this step.

#2 — focus on brain dumping all the thoughts & feelings swirling around in your head onto a piece of paper. This can be through words, shapes, colors or lines. This will allow you to hone in on what you can control & what you cannot.

#3 — focus on moving your body. A simple stretch or gentle walk is a great place to start. This will help your body to release stress & increase all your feel good hormones.

Even if you can consistently do one of these, you’ll finally start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. And you’ll experience stress relief without feeling guilt and shame for talking time for yourself.

Ready to make your mental health a priority?

Book a consult now and let’s begin!

Emotional Regulation for Preteens with Anxiety

Here we go again...

Another day filled with your preteen’s emotions exploding like volcanoes, frustrations running high, fighting, so much crying, withdrawing from things they once loved and worried about everything!

I see you here, scrolling through trying to catch a break & just wishing you could find some answers.

Maybe you’ve tried taking your kid to talk therapy, talking to your child’s pediatrician, consulting your child’s teachers and sifting through stacks of parenting books.

And yet, your family is still riding that daily emotional rollercoaster.

So, I totally get that it seems completely unimaginable to bring back peace & joy into your home.

I’ve got some tips for you today that are going to completely CHANGE the way you help your child navigate their emotional and mental health so they can naturally calm their nervous system, build their confidence, and finally bring laughter back into your home again.

With the right tools you can transform your child's emotions so that they feel safe, confident, happy, calm and connected.

In this exclusive toolkit, I’m breaking the barriers from the therapy room walls so that I can fully support you and your family.

This is just the support you need if you want to...

✅ Help your child feel HAPPY, HEALTHY, AND MORE CONFIDENT at school and in their relationships with others.

✅ Learn EFFECTIVE CALMING TOOLS so that you are better equipped to help your child regulate emotions.

✅ Teach your child how to EXPRESS THEIR THOUGHTS & FEELINGS in a healthy way.

✅ SUPPORT YOUR CHILD'S MENTAL HEALTH NATURALLY!

If you're ready to cultivate joy and connection in your family tap the link below to get started.

https://www.kaylahelenske.co/accessnow

6 stress-busting breathing exercises

Did you know the way you breathe is linked with your mental and physical health, your stress level, your energy – and that it can affect every single cell in your body?

When you optimize your breathing, you can: 

• Feel calm and energized

• Sleep better

• Improve your focus & concentration

• Boost your mindfulness

And when your breathing is shallow (not optimized), it’s linked with:

• Pain

• Illness/disease

• Poor posture

• Stress

• Negative emotions (anger, anxiety, and fear)

In fact, 70% of the waste you expel from your body every day is done through your breath!

That means when you pay attention to your breath for even a few minutes every day, it can make a surprisingly big difference in how you feel.

And, that’s why I've included the Mindful Breathing Guide with 6 stress-busting breathing exercises in the Emotionally Empowered Family membership so you can start using as soon as today.

Get your copy here right now in my membership library:

https://www.kaylahelenske.co/joinnow

The breathing exercises in your Mindful Breathing Guide will only take a few minutes but they can turn around your family's mood … and your energy … fast!

I hope you find it valuable!

It's my mission to help your family live a vibrant and healthy life together. 

Join me in The Emotionally Empowered Family System and we'll make it happen!

Health + Happiness!

Kayla

P.S. If you know someone who would be interested in this ebook, feel free to forward this email to them so they can get their copy too.

Environmental Overhaul: Decluttered Space, Decluttered Mind

Hi there!

Is your environment making you feel chaotic and overwhelmed?  We all know that we are affected by our environment - but you may not realize how much your surroundings are affecting your mood and mindset. The negative effects of the seemingly unimportant can have on our brains is shocking. Creating an optimal environment at your home or office is vital for you to start thriving, being happier, more focused and relaxed. 

You can shift your mindset JUST by making some simple changes to your surroundings.  Think about it - do some rooms make you feel depressed?  Do some spaces make you feel lighter?  Does a particular color make you feel anxious? Relaxed?  This isn’t just about making your environment pretty - you can make specific changes to make your surroundings work for you.

So right now, just have a look around you. 

How do you feel in the space you are in right now?  Pick the top 3 words that come to mind. 

What about the spaces you spend the most time in? What do you need to do to make it a more enjoyable, more joyful and ZEN space? New storage containers for kids toys, new plants, declutter the countertop, organize the bookshelf.  Clutter can be mental, physical or emotional but it’s extra “stuff” that clogs up your space and clouds your mindset.   Pick two of the tips from today’s hand out and start overhauling your environment!

5 simple tips to create your EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY space.

1. Start small.  Pick one space and start making it your happy place. Don’t try and do your entire house all at once.

2. Make it inviting and represents you - pick some fresh flowers or greenery or choose new artwork that connects with you (you are worthy of beautiful spaces).

3. Organize your digital space!  Organize the files on your desktop. A desktop with 50 icons looks chaotic.  Organized into tidy folders?  Bring on the zen!  Clean out your inbox.  Having 1,500 unread emails = overwhelm.  Unsubscribe from any newsletters or notifications that aren’t integral to your daily life. 

4. Be the gatekeeper of your space - Make a rule that if you don’t absolutely love it and if it doesn’t make you smile - it doesn’t come into the house.  Keeping things streamlined and creating the perfect space is a lot easier when you reduce the number of things in your space.

5. Determine what your perfect storm is.  Not everyone wants a perfectly clean environment. Maybe you are inspired by having a stack of books around you or the notes from your last meeting with a client.  Maybe you need a bit of mess to be motivated to rock your life.  Take a few minutes and determine what “perfect” means for you.