Friendships can be the best part of preteen life—and the hardest. Your child comes home hurt because they weren’t invited to a party or feels unsure about how to handle a disagreement. As a parent, it’s tough to watch them struggle, but these challenges are also opportunities for growth.

So how do you guide your preteen through these tricky waters without taking over?

Understanding the Preteen Social World

At this age, friendships start to carry more weight. They’re about more than shared interests—they become central to identity and self-worth. That’s why every conflict feels like the end of the world to your child.

As a parent, your role isn’t to fix the problem but to equip your child with tools to handle it themselves.

Key Conversations to Have with Your Preteen

Instead of jumping in with solutions, start by listening. Ask open-ended questions like, “How did that make you feel?” or “What do you think you’ll do next?” These questions encourage your child to process their emotions and consider their options.

When they’re ready, offer gentle guidance. Share stories of your own childhood friendships—both the good and the challenging. Hearing that you’ve been through similar struggles can be incredibly reassuring.

Finally, remind your preteen that it’s okay to set boundaries. True friends respect each other’s feelings, and it’s okay to step back from friendships that feel one-sided or hurtful.

Want more tools to support your preteen? Download my free guide: How to Help Your Preteen Make Confident Choices and empower your child to navigate these challenges with self-assurance.