Helping Preteens Navigate Friendship Challenges: A Parent’s Guide
Friendships can be the best part of preteen life—and the hardest. Your child comes home hurt because they weren’t invited to a party or feels unsure about how to handle a disagreement. As a parent, it’s tough to watch them struggle, but these challenges are also opportunities for growth.
So how do you guide your preteen through these tricky waters without taking over?
Friendships can be the best part of preteen life—and the hardest. Your child comes home hurt because they weren’t invited to a party or feels unsure about how to handle a disagreement. As a parent, it’s tough to watch them struggle, but these challenges are also opportunities for growth.
So how do you guide your preteen through these tricky waters without taking over?
Understanding the Preteen Social World
At this age, friendships start to carry more weight. They’re about more than shared interests—they become central to identity and self-worth. That’s why every conflict feels like the end of the world to your child.
As a parent, your role isn’t to fix the problem but to equip your child with tools to handle it themselves.
Key Conversations to Have with Your Preteen
Instead of jumping in with solutions, start by listening. Ask open-ended questions like, “How did that make you feel?” or “What do you think you’ll do next?” These questions encourage your child to process their emotions and consider their options.
When they’re ready, offer gentle guidance. Share stories of your own childhood friendships—both the good and the challenging. Hearing that you’ve been through similar struggles can be incredibly reassuring.
Finally, remind your preteen that it’s okay to set boundaries. True friends respect each other’s feelings, and it’s okay to step back from friendships that feel one-sided or hurtful.
Want more tools to support your preteen? Download my free guide: How to Help Your Preteen Make Confident Choices and empower your child to navigate these challenges with self-assurance.
Understanding Your Preteen’s Journey of Self-Discovery
Preteens are at one of the most fascinating—and challenging—stages of development. They’re no longer little kids who take the world at face value, but they’re not yet teenagers equipped to fully express who they’re becoming.
This in-between stage is marked by self-discovery—a time of exploring interests, testing boundaries, and figuring out who they are. It’s exciting, messy, and often emotional.
Preteens are at one of the most fascinating—and challenging—stages of development. They’re no longer little kids who take the world at face value, but they’re not yet teenagers equipped to fully express who they’re becoming.
This in-between stage is marked by self-discovery—a time of exploring interests, testing boundaries, and figuring out who they are. It’s exciting, messy, and often emotional.
Why Self-Discovery Feels So Tricky
1. Balancing Independence and Connection
Preteens want to assert their independence, but they’re not quite ready to navigate life on their own. This push-and-pull can create tension between wanting your guidance and wanting to do things their way.
2. Insecurity Around Their Identity
They’re beginning to compare themselves to peers and internalize outside opinions. This can lead to self-doubt or fear that who they are isn’t “enough.”
3. Big Emotions, Limited Tools
From excitement to frustration to sadness, preteens are riding an emotional rollercoaster. But because their brains are still developing, they don’t always have the skills to process those feelings in healthy ways.
4. Shifting Interests and Passions
One week, it’s soccer; the next, it’s coding. Preteens are exploring what lights them up—and they may feel overwhelmed by the pressure to choose or stick with something.
How You Can Support Their Journey
• Celebrate Their Individuality
Show interest in their hobbies, even if they seem fleeting. By valuing what excites them, you’re helping them feel seen and validated.
• Foster Open Communication
Make it safe for your preteen to share their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. This builds trust and helps them process their emotions with your support.
• Help Them Reframe Mistakes
Remind them that growth often comes from trying and failing. Mistakes aren’t failures—they’re opportunities to learn and grow.
• Model Self-Discovery
Share your own stories of figuring out who you are—both as a kid and as an adult. Seeing you embrace your journey helps normalize theirs.
Preteens are in a beautiful season of growth, even if it feels chaotic at times. By guiding them with patience and encouragement, you’re giving them the tools to discover and embrace who they truly are.
Want more tools to support your preteen during this stage? Schedule a consult here and let’s explore how to empower them with confidence and resilience.
Helping Your Anxious Preteen Navigate Holiday Stress with Creativity
The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy and connection, but for preteens with anxiety, they can feel overwhelming. From packed schedules to unfamiliar social settings and heightened expectations, the season often amplifies their worries. Your preteen might struggle with a loud inner critic, feelings of self-doubt, or an inability to fully relax and enjoy the season.
As a parent, you want to help your preteen feel safe, understood, and confident during this busy time. One way to achieve this is through creativity. Art therapy offers a unique outlet for anxious preteens to express their thoughts and emotions, quiet their inner critic, and discover tools for resilience.
Here’s a creative activity designed to help your preteen process holiday stress and find calm amid the chaos.
The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy and connection, but for preteens with anxiety, they can feel overwhelming. From packed schedules to unfamiliar social settings and heightened expectations, the season often amplifies their worries. Your preteen might struggle with a loud inner critic, feelings of self-doubt, or an inability to fully relax and enjoy the season.
As a parent, you want to help your preteen feel safe, understood, and confident during this busy time. One way to achieve this is through creativity. Art therapy offers a unique outlet for anxious preteens to express their thoughts and emotions, quiet their inner critic, and discover tools for resilience.
Here’s a creative activity designed to help your preteen process holiday stress and find calm amid the chaos.
Therapeutic Art Activity: My Holiday Journey Map
Therapeutic Art Activity: My Holiday Journey Map
Why You NEED to try this…
Why This Activity Helps
Anxiety can feel like a tangle of thoughts and emotions, especially during the holidays. The Holiday Journey Map provides preteens with a way to untangle and organize their feelings while visually mapping out the season. This activity encourages mindfulness, self-awareness, and self-expression—all key tools for managing anxiety.
What You’ll Need:
• A large sheet of paper or poster board
• Markers, oil pastels, crayons, or colored pencils
• Magazines for cutting out images (optional)
• Scissors, glue, and stickers
How to Create the Map:
1. Draw the Journey:
Ask your preteen to draw a winding road across the paper, representing their journey through the holiday season. Along the road, they’ll mark stops for key events, like a holiday party, family dinner, family traditions, or even downtime at home.
2. Add Emotion Stops:
At each stop, have them draw a symbol or picture to represent how they feel about that moment. For example:
• A question mark for moments of uncertainty.
• A heart for events they’re excited about.
• A storm cloud for situations that feel overwhelming.
They can use colors to reflect their emotions—blue for calm, red for stress, yellow for happiness.
3. Add Empowerment Imagery:
Encourage them to add to the road with comforting images or words that remind them of their strengths and the support they have. They can include encouraging messages, symbols of resilience, or reminders of things they enjoy about the holidays.
4. Reflect Together:
Once their map is complete, sit down and explore it with them. Use open-ended questions like:
• “What part of this journey feels the hardest for you?”
• “What are you most looking forward to?”
• “How can we make the tough moments feel easier?”
5. Empower with Coping Tools:
Discuss simple coping strategies they can use when anxiety shows up, such as deep breathing, taking a break, or using positive affirmations.
Supporting Your Preteen Through Holiday Stress
The Holiday Journey Map is more than an art project—it’s a tool for emotional empowerment. It helps your preteen process their thoughts and feelings while creating a visual reminder of their ability to face challenges.
This activity also opens the door for meaningful conversations, giving you insight into what they need to feel supported during the season.
If you’re looking for more strategies to help your preteen manage anxiety, build confidence, and quiet their inner critic, explore my Emotionally Empowered Family System or Creatively You Club.
Rooting for you!
Kayla
Building Confidence in Preteens: Small Steps That Make a Big Difference
Preteens face a whirlwind of changes—academically, socially, and emotionally. It’s a time when their self-esteem can take a hit. As a parent, you play a crucial role in helping your child build the confidence they need to navigate this stage with resilience.
The good news? Building confidence doesn’t require grand gestures. It’s about small, consistent actions that send the message: “I believe in you.”
Preteens face a whirlwind of changes—academically, socially, and emotionally. It’s a time when their self-esteem can take a hit. As a parent, you play a crucial role in helping your child build the confidence they need to navigate this stage with resilience.
The good news? Building confidence doesn’t require grand gestures. It’s about small, consistent actions that send the message: “I believe in you.”
Why Confidence Matters in Preteens
Confidence shapes how preteens approach challenges.
It impacts their ability to make friends, handle school pressures, and resist peer influence.
Low self-esteem often leads to anxiety, self-doubt, or withdrawal from activities they love.
Small Steps to Build Confidence
1. Celebrate Effort Over Results
Praise the process, not just the outcome. Example: “I saw how hard you worked on that project!”
2. Encourage Decision-Making
Let them make age-appropriate choices, from picking their outfits to planning weekend activities.
3. Model Self-Confidence
Show them how you handle challenges with self-assurance. Share your wins and how you overcame struggles.
4. Foster Their Interests
Whether it’s art, sports, or coding, support activities that spark their passion and skill-building.
5. Help Them Reframe Mistakes
Teach them that mistakes are opportunities to learn. Example: “What can we try differently next time?”
Ready to Empower Your Preteen?
Confidence is a skill that grows with practice—and the right support.
Download your free guide: The Ultimate 5 Step Guide To Help Kids Regulate Emotions + Express Thoughts & Feelings in a Healthy Way. It’s packed with practical tips to support their self-esteem and resilience!