Talking to your preteen about emotions can feel like walking through a minefield. One minute they’re spilling their hearts out; the next, you’re met with an eye roll and a slammed door. Navigating these moments is tough—but it’s also an opportunity to strengthen your relationship and help your preteen develop emotional resilience.

If you're unsure where to start, don’t worry—you're not alone. Here are practical, mindful strategies to create open, judgment-free conversations with your preteen about their emotions.

Why It’s Important to Talk About Emotions

Preteens are in a unique stage of life where hormones, school stress and peer relationships collide. This emotional rollercoaster can make them feel overwhelmed. By talking openly about emotions, you’re teaching them:

- Emotional intelligence: Recognizing and naming their feelings.

- Healthy coping strategies: Managing tough situations with mindfulness instead of avoidance.

- Resilience: Learning that it’s okay to struggle and how to move through challenges.

When preteens feel they can express their emotions safely, they’re more likely to make confident, informed choices—whether it’s navigating friendships, standing up for themselves or managing academic pressures.

5 Tips for Talking to Your Preteen About Emotions

1. Choose the Right Moment

Timing is everything. A rushed car ride or heated moment isn’t ideal for deep conversations. Instead, aim for natural, low-pressure opportunities, like during a walk, while cooking together or at bedtime.

2. Start with Open-Ended Questions

Avoid yes-or-no questions like “Did you have a good day?” Instead, try:

- “What was the best part of your day?”

- “What’s something that made you feel frustrated today?”

These questions encourage them to share without feeling interrogated.

3. Validate Their Feelings

Resist the urge to “fix” or downplay their emotions. Saying things like “It’s not that big of a deal” can shut them down. Instead, try:

“That sounds really tough. I’m here to listen.”
“It makes sense you’d feel that way. How can I support you?”

Validation shows them their feelings are normal and worthy of attention.

4. Model Emotional Expression

Preteens learn by watching you. Share your emotions (in an age-appropriate way) and how you handle them. For example:

“I felt really frustrated when I made a mistake at work, but I took a few deep breaths to calm down.”

This normalizes emotional expression and teaches them healthy coping strategies.

5. Use Creative Tools to Break the Ice

Sometimes, talking directly about emotions can feel too intense for preteens. Creative outlets like art, journaling or mindfulness exercises can help them process feelings in a less intimidating way. For example:

Draw a "feelings map" together, where they assign colors to different emotions.
Practice deep breathing or grounding exercises when emotions feel overwhelming.

When to Seek Help

If your preteen consistently shuts down, seems overly anxious or struggles to regulate their emotions, it might be time to seek professional support. A trained licensed therapist can provide tools tailored to their unique needs and help you strengthen your connection as a family.

Ready to Build Better Conversations with Your Preteen?

Navigating these emotional waters is challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Together, we can create a plan to help your preteen confidently express their emotions while equipping you with tools to support them.

Book a free 20 minute consult today and let’s work together to empower your preteen to unlock their greatest potential!

Talking about emotions with your preteen is a journey, but every step strengthens their confidence and your bond. You’ve got this—and I’m here to help every step of the way.

How to Talk to Your Preteen About Emotions: A Parent’s Guide →